This is the Nightmare.
She is a magnificent beast who comes equipped with a number of additional features not shown on this comprehensive diagram, such as cable snippers, a licky thing, some thumplings and an unlimited supply of liquid vengeance. Her passions are: chewing through all available items of clothing, licking the favourite humans and cuddling. She is one half of my favourite dynamic duo.
This is the other half…
He is the Whitemare. He’s full of hate and venom, but we love him anyway. He doesn’t know this – as far as he’s concerned, when we approach him he is definitely about to die. He just prays it’ll be quick. Whitemare’s favourite things are: Scooby snacks and being groomed by Nightmare. He hates: everything else. Occasionally, his hair is reminiscent of Trump’s, which makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.
The Destructabuns live indoors and, due to the fact there there is currently a smelly marshmallow living downstairs, they spend a lot of time in the bedroom in winter. In the summer, they spend long days languishing in a custom-built palace/ prison depending on the colour of your fur. It’s roomy and grassy.
That’s Smelly Marshmallow. I honestly, don’t know what it is. It could be a large hairy bag of soup that someone’s dropped on the floor. It could also be a pile of damp cushions stuffed with meat or a sack of moulding potatoes. It occasionally mimics a dog, but it’s too fat to run properly, can’t fetch and has a deep-seated fear of the toaster, so I can’t be sure. It leaks though.
This is me…
The bunny suit is where my power lies. I live in Army-land and, although I wear the Queen’s pyjamas on the regular, this is what lurks beneath. Not literally… the bunny ears would be hell to fit under a beret and I would be in deep bobbins in the summer heat. But I digress.
This is Boyo. He is pet human to the Destructabuns and Marshmallow Massager in Chief. I don’t recall why I draw him like a sheep, just go with it. He’s big on maths and physics things and can tell you all sorts about vectors and random walks and other things of that ilk, which may or may not be interesting – who knows? He enjoys climbing up tall rocks and things. It is one of the many hobbies. He hates: flat earthers and those who do not believe in science in general.
Those are some introductions. There will be many more to come, but it’s a beginning. I have no idea where I’m going with this. But if you’re still with me – well done for sticking it out. Here’s a gold star!